Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
