I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
