Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
