Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
