The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
