Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
