It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
