that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
