She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
