i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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