Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
