The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
