Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I wish you could order shots online.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
