I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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