im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Who died my cat blue again?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
