it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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