I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
