Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
