and you said cock pushups were impossible
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
