just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
did i just pee glitter
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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