Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
