It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
