I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
