Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
