I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
