what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
found the other keg... it's in the tree
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
