We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she told me i tasted like america
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
