it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
