Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
