WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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