is your mom at the bar?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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