I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
