i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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