You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
