so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
