Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
