He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
