it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
