if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
