Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
