Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
