Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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