Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
