This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
