I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
