i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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