Three words: puerto rican gang bang
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
