I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
