I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
