I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
